Dear Diary,
by MapleTeaMaddie
Summary: Dear diary, a week ago. My papa told me to release steam and write anything I wish... So I'm writing about my life. For starters, my name is Madeline Bonnefoy... This is based on maddie's years with Francis.
1. Losing Abigail

**This Fanfic is about Maddie's childhood… And how and why she is the country she is today…So Okay… I'm not feeling very confident about this one so please help me! I'm not feeling and love from so if you even like the story review… *Sadface* Keep in Mind THEY ARE KIDS! Around Five…**

** After another attempt to "remove" herself from the map, her Papa (France) tells her to write a journal to release steam so she doesn't try to hurt herself again… This story has some eventual Franada… but not in that way as Papa and daughter … Sweet ending. One Last side note Madeline is 12 when shes writing this...**

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><p>Dear Diary,<p>

Everyone has a story, a beginning, a start. So this is mine, it is simple, like my life is simple.

My name is Madeline, when I was little, before I was a country, a colony, before I was even on the map. I lived with my twin sister Abigail. At that time neither of us had last names. Those we gained from the countries that adopted up.

Like I was saying, I used to live with my sister Abigail. We lived together until one day...

We were fishing down at our favorite river. It was our favorite because it ran through both of our lands. "Maddie are you waddy to go?" Abigail asked, but I wasn't paying attention. I had seen a little white mass a few yards away.

Bobbing and flailing in the water. "Abigail... Do you see that?" I said running to the white mass in the water.

"Maddi! Where are you going?" Abby cried running after me. I didn't listen to her instead I kept running. "It's a bear!" I shouted when I was about 5ft away from it. "It's going to drown!" I grabbed a tree branch and leaned out farther; I managed to grab the bear but lost my footing.

…Splash…

"Maddi!" I heard Abby scream but I couldn't keep my head above the water. I felt myself being pulled upstream, my lungs filled with water. Nations can't drown through, it's just really uncomfortable. I just closed my eyes when I felt the bear licking my face. I sat up and looked around, the familiar forests and trees were gone. Worst of all, Abigail was gone… And I was all alone. I started to cry. Then bear snuggled his nose against me, reminding me that I wasn't completely.

Over the years the bear never got any bigger or older. He always stayed by my side, he even talked to me.

"Mr. Bear… How come you can talk?"

"Because."

"Because Why?"

"I stand for that wildlife portion of Canada, being a part of a Nation I can do such things."

I giggled; he sighed and said "I'm not really a bear." I giggle more.

"Yes you are, you have paws and fur."

"I may look like a bear but I can talk… Do you know any other bears that talk?"

Later that day. He told me his name was Kumajirou and the was my token (Whatever that meant). Kumajirou and I were together for hundreds of years (just us) before a man dressed in blue came and changed everything.

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><p><strong>~Chapter ending~ I wanted Kumajirou to semi make up for losing Abi so I went OOC and gave him the ability to talk… In complete sentences, like a person. I couldn't have Maddie being depressed…. Love Maddie…<strong>


	2. The Man in Blue

**Yay! Second installment of Maddie's Diary… Please enjoy...**

Dear Diary,

In 1534 I met a man named Francis Bonnefoy. I speak French now, but back then I couldn't understand a word he said. (Even the ones he said in English.)

I remember it like it was yesterday… It was snowing then; Kumajirou and me were cuddled together. Kumajirou always kept me warm, he still does. I was sleeping, Kuma was awake though, I think, because when the man got close. He growled and woke me up.

I looked up at the man, confused. "Who are you?" I said rubbing my eyes. He didn't look like any of the people native to my, land at all. He had beautiful blue eyes, they looked like the pure blue waves of the sea just east of there. His hair was golden like mine, resembling the sun's light (or that's what Kuma said my hair looked like.) He was completely out of place like a rose blooming in a blizzard.

"je m'appelle Francis."

"Eh?" I stared at him even more confused.

He paused, he seemed to be pondering something. Then he spoke "I am called Francis." His strong French accent was practically dripping from every word. "What is your name?" He said turning his mouth into a smile.

"M-madeline." I shuddered out. Come to think of it, I don't know why I did. He didn't look scary or anything. Not like Abigail's papa. He bent down in front of me and reached out his hand.

"You will catch a cold."

I stared at his hand. Do you know how you can meet a person and know that they are… Okay. Without even knowing them. That's how I felt when he reached his hand out to me. So I took it and stood. Kumajirou whined a little, but then I hushed him and told him it was okay.

"So where are your parents?" he asked.

"I don't have any." I said earning a sympathetic look from him.

"Well, you just come with me. I'll find someone to take care of you." He said lifting me into his arms. "I don't need parents." I said, then he replied "Oh you poor thing 'ow 'ave you been keeping healthy in all of this snow and ice." We walked for awhile Kuma following behind us. I don't know what it was about him, but I trusted him. So I decide to confide in him my most important secret, the fact that I was a nation. I explained that I didn't need parents, and that the cold is nothing to me. He was ecstatic with the news. He was happy he was the first person to find me. He asked me if I wanted to go live with him back at his settlement a small settlement call Quebec. And that's how I came to live with Papa… For a really long time we spent all of our time together cooking, singing, and playing. But eventually papa got busier and busier. And no longer had time for me, he would stay in him study or at meetings, going to battle. When I'd beg him to take me with him he'd just shake head and say "Non that is not a place for a young girl." I'd try using the argument that I was a nation too, with a small militia but he still said "Non."

It made me really sad went papa had to go away. He made me worry nonstop. Later during a brief period of peace I told him that I was tired of being useless and always idle without him. He told me when I learned to use a sword I could help.

"Then teach me!"

"Non, women do not do such things. And don't go begging the soldier's they will tell you the same thing."

I started to cry and grab at his coat screaming, "Papa it's not fair." He never taught me to use a sword.


	3. Mr Caterpillar Brows

**Maddie here! Umm this chapter will have two journals because they are really short… And in the same day..**

Dear diary,  
>I think Mrs. Claire (my nurse maid) was right, papa does have a<br>weakness for me. Three days ago papa told me that I could visit Abi in  
>London. That's where I am now. Right now she is in timeout though,<br>because she disobeyed her papa. 

Her papa told her to eat her breakfast and she threw a fit. I don't  
>see why she didn't drown it in maple syrup, that's what I do when I<br>visit. 

Anyways, I asked Abi if her papa's eye brows where really alive, she  
>didn't know. My papa told me that Mr. Kirkland gets caterpillars from<br>his garden and sticks them to his forehead, so Abi and I are going to  
>check after her timeout is over.<p>

Dear diary,  
>I'm so scared right now. Papa is on his way to come get me... It's all<br>because of Abi! When we checked Mr. Kirkland's eye brows he looked up  
>and said "What go the bloody hell are you doing?" Abi was picking at<br>his caterpillars when he said that. I asked her what it meant and she  
>told me it's something you say when you're a grown up. So I thought to<br>myself 'I'm pretty grown up and papa's always telling me how big I'm  
>getting so big.' So I decided I was big enough to use the word too..<br>Big mistake.

I paraded around her room saying "Bloody Hell~." Then I  
>into a wall... A wall with caterpillars on his face, Mr. Kirkland. <p>

"What did you just say young lady?" My heart dropped. "bloody...hell"  
>"That's what I thought you said... Come on young lady..."<p>

"You are in trouble." He said, pulling me into the living room. He  
>reached for phone, ignoring my pleas not to tell papa. I sat there<br>frozen waiting for him to hang up. "He'll be here in two hours" he  
>said turning to me. <p>

When papa got there if scowled at me for swearing and I got  
>spankings... So now I'm in timeout...<p> 


	4. Goodbye Almost Maman

**Okay this chapter is for my lovely reviewers… You guys made my day… I actually wrote this chapter in the same day that I read those lovely reviews, which are what actually fueled me to write this. But I wasn't at a computer to upload it. See my writing process is kinda weird I write it out on my phone then e-mail it to myself, then check for errors then upload… So yeah enjoy… And please review, it makes my day. Special thanks to Stardust98 for recommending my story to other ppl… Much love from Mads!**

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><p>Dear diary,<p>

Papa finally ungrounded me. We are supposed to go to the beach in three hours. Mrs. Claire has been cleaning non-stop lately. I asked her why, but all she told me was to get cleaned up. "But maman..." I protested. She looked at me with a puzzled look.

"Non, not maman."

"But I heard some kids saying it in town. They said it was a woman that takes care of you."

Mrs. Claire made a sad face. "I know but you must not call me that."

"Do you not want to be mon maman?" i asked, she have an even sadder face. Then she explained why I couldn't call her that.

I told her that I wanted papa to marry her so I could call her maman.

But she said to stop making ridiculous ideas. Somehow I knew she was lonely, but I decided not to push the issue.

I asked papa why I couldn't call Mrs. Claire maman. He said, "You're not old enough to understand"

"I am papa!"

He raised a brow "just like you were old enough to say bloody hell?" I gave a mad look then dropped the subject. Papa can be what Abi says a butt is...

Feeling brave I looked papa go the eyes and shouted "Papa is a big butt!" Papa looked at me and frowned.

"Now Madeline that is no way to talk!" He said it in a calm voice. Then he got up and left the room.

Later on I heard him talking to Mrs. Claire. "I'm sorry Claire" he said in a strict voice. "But master Bonnefoy... "

"Non I am no longer your master." My eyes started to water as I listened to them, I knew what was happening... Papa was firing Mrs.

Claire.

Mrs. Claire walked past me and to her room. I chased after her. When I caught up to her she had already begun to pack her things. I ran to her and buried my head in her shoulder.

"Non! Please don't leave." I cried. She patted me on the head

"I'm sorry Madeline." I cried louder.

"Maman! I yelled at papa not you! You don't deserve to be fired! It's not fair, I'm sorry maman!" I was so upset over her Mrs. Clarie, the closest thing I ever had to a maman, being kicked out I threw myself on the floor and sobbed at her feet.

No matter how much I begged papa still made her leave. And after a bit I had a new nurse maid. Maybe papa isn't so great after all...

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><p><strong>And... Done! *tears down face* there it is... Poor Maddie... Don't hate me for this. Please... Love Mads. P.S. Maman means mom in French. Hint for my lovely readers Mrs. Claire plays a bigger role later…<strong>


	5. A Hundred Years Behind

**Sorry if this chapter feels rushed… I'm trying to get to the main part of the plot… and in a hurry. **

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><p>Dear Diary,<p>

I don't really feel like writing today, I don't really feel like anything… Papa got his wish, Mrs. Claire is finally gone and I have been trying my best not to bring it up.

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><p><strong>~Three weeks Later~<strong>

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><p>Dear Diary,<p>

Maybe Papa does listen to me! After a bit of arguing, Papa finally agreed to rehire Mrs. Claire. But he said that if I start 'rebelling' than he will fire her just as quickly as the first time. It wasn't Mrs. Claire that made me 'rebel'… Come to think of it I don't remember doing anything rebellious. All I did was call Papa a butt. Papa can be so strict sometimes.

I do kinda feel bad though, Papa probably thought that Mrs. Claire was taking me away from him. Which is crazy, no one could take me away from my Papa! Ever! But, I do miss the days when Papa would call me Mon Petit and cook with me instead of "Madeline! Don't do this and don't do that! Don't forget to do this or don't forget to do this… blah blah blah you are a country and a young lady and etc." I miss the old Papa that would laugh and call my blunders cute little mistakes instead of scolding me.

I guess that is to be expected though I am a nation after all. Maybe Papa is being so mean so he can make up for the years (hundred years) that he spend treating me and spoiling me like a normal child. I know that Papa's childhood wasn't as good as he is trying to make mine. Thanks to Papa I don't have to worry about war or anything like that, he always protects me…

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><p><strong>~Later in 1763~ (About a hundred years later)<strong>

Dear diary,

This can't be happening… I hate Mr. Kirkland! He broke the only piece of happiness I had left; he took my Papa from me… What am I supposed to do, I won't let them see me, not even Abigail. I have been hiding in the Kirkland guest room. He said it was my new room but I refuse to call it that, my room was at home in Quebec with Papa, not in England. I hate it here the air is stuffy and humid, like the stupid rain that always seems to be pouring. I haven't eaten in four days; because I refuse to eat the horse vomit he calls food.

The only thing I have from Canada, my true home, is my bear Kumajirou. But, I think he isn't okay, he hasn't been himself. He won't talk and he is always sleeping, I think that is my fault though. When Mr. Kirkland was taking me from my home I tried to jump from the carriage. And actually would have made it if Kumajirou didn't hit his head in the jump… when he woke up he didn't remember me at all. The only thing he will say is "Who?" The only thing that makes it a little better is sometimes when I think hard enough I can hear Papa and Mrs. Claire telling me that everything is okay… But of course Mrs. Claire has been dead for almost 60 years now. But somehow I feel like she still here, somewhere…

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><p><strong>As a little post note, I was trying to stick as close to actual Canadian history as possible… But if some things are wrong (or don't make sense) tell me… Gaaah! This chapter didn't turn out how I wanted at all. For those who are lost 1763 was the year of the Treaty of Paris in which French colonies in North America were passed to the British Crown. Love Maddie <strong>


	6. The war that changed everything

Dear diary,

I've finally decided to leave the confinements of that stuffy room. Mr. Kirkland promised to protect the property, religious, political, and social culture of the French-speaking habitants, guaranteeing the right of the _Canadians_ to practice the Catholic faith and to the use of French civil law. The Royal Proclamation of 1763 was issued in October, by King George III following Great Britain's acquisition of Papa's territory. He also said that Papa could come visit me, he is coming next month. I am allowed to write letters to Papa, I write them in French so Mr. Kirkland can't read them. He tells me, in his letters, that he can't wait to see me. I can't wait to see Papa too; it's been five years since I've seen Papa in person. I am seventeen now (almost an adult). So I think it will be weird seeing him after so long, but I'm still excited.

On another note, Mr. Kirkland and Abigail have been getting into more and more fights lately. I understand that Abi felts that her Papa is stepping on her toes but… I just worried.

She has been talking about revolting, revolting against Great Britain! The world's superpower! I wish that she wasn't so stubborn at times… I told her I was a bad idea, but something tells me she is going to go against what I told her. I can't bear to see something happen to her…

**~Four Weeks Later~**

Dear diary,

Papa came to visit as promised, but I'm afraid it will never happen again. Papa was working with Abigail; she is going to start a rebellion! Against her own Papa! Mr. Kirkland found out… Because of me. I think Abigail hates me now, because now Mr. Kirkland has been punishing Abigail by slowing taking away her freedoms… Why does she always have to play the hero! She is not even an adult yet… I feel really guilty but I had to tell him… I had to.

**~1837~**

Dear diary,

I know I haven't written anything in a long time, but I'm so stressed out right now. Abigail's revolution is starting to take effect on my land. In Upper Canada, a band of Reformers took up arms in a disorganized and ultimately unsuccessful series of small-scale skirmishes around Toronto, London, and Hamilton.

In Lower Canada, a more dangerous rebellion occurred against British rule. Both English- and French-Canadian rebels, sometimes using bases in the neutral United States, fought several skirmishes against the authorities. The towns of Chambly and Sorel were taken by the rebels, and Quebec City was isolated from the rest of the colony. Hundreds of my citizens were arrested, and several villages were burnt in pure malice.

A less well received recommendation was the amalgamation of Upper and Lower Canada for the deliberate assimilation of the French-speaking population. The parliament of United Canada in Montreal was set on fire by a mob of Tories. My home is in complete shambles because of that stupid feud. I'm starting to hate both Abigail and her stubborn father. My people are being killed and their home being burned to the ground because, they have all caught Abigail's revolution frenzy. I was perfectly fine with the living arrangements that I am soon to lose. I don't think I can take another home switching again.

Sometimes I find myself wandering the gardens outside the Kirkland residence. I find peace out there, when it is not raining. Lately I have taken a liking to a certain garden maid. Her name is Antoinette Fortescue, somehow I feel as if I know her… I just can't put my finger on it. Maybe I'll ask her later…

Dear Diary,

I am currently in the garden again. I have been talking to Mrs. Antoinette lately, and found out some interesting facts. I knew there was a reason I took to her so quickly. Her great grandmother's name was Claire Fortescue. My Claire, only families that know the secret of nations are allowed to work for them… But of all the nations to work for, Mrs. Antoinette the was choosen to work Mr. Kirkland!

**For of those who are confused, Maddie calls women by their first name... always. She only calls men by their last names... That is why no one ever knew Mrs. Claire's last name at the beginning of the story. Oh and yeah I've been doing some hardcore studying on Canadian history to made this as accurate as possible... With lots of Love Mads! P.S. REVIEW! I like to know how I am doing!**


	7. Independence isn't always a happy thing

**There you have it TWO CHAPTERS in one day… I'm on a roll! (^J^) Kolkolkol! Enjoy!**

Dear Diary,

I find it hard to find free time now, I'm always so busy now it seems. Abigail got what she wanted; she is now free from Mr. Kirkland. I don't think she knows how much she broke his heart though. He won't leave his study, I'm not even sure if he eats anymore. I've been bringing him tea, but I think I am making him worse. He tried to smile yesterday but then just ended up staring at me with an extremely pained face, I guess it doesn't help that I am the spitting image of her.

I know Abigail probably doesn't know that he is like this, but he is kinda like my dad now and I can't stand to see him in pain. Tomorrow is my official eighteenth birthday in Nation years. As of tomorrow I am an adult. Normally a teen would be happy about becoming an adult; however I can't just leave Mr. Kirkland. He needs someone… He can't be alone, so I think I will be staying with him just a little longer. The reason why I'm saying it like a choice is because it actually is a choice. After the Revolutionary war (Abigail) he told me I was also free to go… I believe he said that because I look so much like her, I must be horrible being constantly reminded by a mirror of what you lost. Maybe I should move out.. No. I can't I'm going to make sure he is completely okay before I adopt any thoughts of leaving.

Dear Diary,

Today is my eighteenth birthday, or should I say tonight, most of the day is already gone. I thought I'd write before I go to bed. Tomorrow I am moving back to Canada, not only because I want to, because Mr. Kirkland requested it. I think I was right even though he said "I wouldn't want to make my other daughter hate me also, so yes you are independent."

"But Mr. Kirkland—"

"Its Arthur now.."

"Okay… Umm… Arthur. Are you sure you are going to be okay, here… by yourself?" I asked. He nodded in response. He still looked sad, so stood from the kitchen table and hugged him. I think I surprised him because it took him a while to respond. "Ja 'taime Papa." I said burring my head in his shoulder.

"I love you too Madeline." He said. Almost immediately after the words left his mouth I felt something dropping on my head. I looked up, he was crying, his tears landed on my face as I watched him. I felt my eyes water at the sight.

"Papa, I'll always come to visit… And I could never hate you." Those words, those five words that when I first came to live with them, I thought I'd never say. But he had grown on me, after a hundred years, how could he not. Francis was still my Papa and I loved him very much, but the same now applies to Mr. Kirkland, No M Father Arthur Kirkland. One of the strongest men I've have ever met. He taught me to smile in the face of sorrow and to stand strong in anything this world throws at you. I believe even when I thought I hated him, he was my rock, and he helped me move on. Even if I didn't want to admit it he loved me even when I was bitter to him. I plan on staying true to my word, if Abigail doesn't want anything to do with him, he will not lose another daughter. I'll always be there.

**Remember! If you liked the chapter REVIEW… I like to read them! They make my day!**


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